Every time I hear about Shop Local campaigns, I feel a twinge of guilt. After all, I earn my living by encouraging people to shop online. I teach people how to get free shipping so that they do not even have to visit their local stores. And yet, as a small business owner, I want to encourage people to support other small business. How do I reconcile all of this?

Without a doubt you can save money online. My first thought is always that if I can save $10 by buying something online, that is $10 more that I can spend on something else. Chances are pretty good that I will then end up spending that $10 at a local restaurant, or maybe at the hairdresser. If I hadn’t saved that $10, I might not be spending it in those ways.

My second thought is that you can shop online and still support small businesses. Those businesses may not be in your hometown, but you are still supporting companies besides WalMart and Sears and Kmart (who I honestly wouldn’t care to ever shop at again). At Sunshine Rewards, we definitely go out of our way to promote the small businesses that we come across as long as they provide a good shopping experience for our members.

The one things that impacts where I spend my money most is the relationship that I have with the seller. For example, I will only buy my contacts from my optometrist. I know I could get them cheaper online. However, my optometrist is a really great guy and goes out of his way to take care of my eyes. For that reason, I want to give him my business. Conversely, I buy all of my makeup online because I have a great relationship with Sephora–they give me good deals and free samples and don’t make me nervous when I am browsing.

It’s a difficult decision to choose to save money by shopping online when you know that there are stores in your community who probably sell the same things. Moreover, a true “Shop Local” purchase would be to bypass your local Borders and get all of your books at the higher priced locally owned bookstore. I’m sure that there are people who do that, but I’d go broke doing that with as many books as I buy a month.

Do you shop online? Do you try to Shop Local? Do you feel guilty for not shopping locally?

I’m pretty sure some of you are going to disagree with this post. In fact, I might even lose some customers over it. And yet I feel strongly about writing it. I love free stuff as much as the next girl. But at some point you have to step back and evaluate the expectations that we all have now when it comes to getting something for nothing.

I love getting free samples of products because I never know what I might buy. I’ve found many of my favorite foods and beauty products from trying out free samples. It’s good business for companies to give out free samples to people in different ways–gift with purchase, a sample and a coupon, a free trial of a service, etc. It gets the product in the hands of the consumer and if the product is good, enough people will buy that product in the future to justify the expense of  giving away the freebies.

Sometimes the free stuff isn’t even related to the product being sold. Our local hardware store used to have a popcorn machine set up for customers to get a bag of free popcorn while they shopped. It probably kept people in the store longer and some parents probably preferred to shop there when their kids were with them just because the popcorn kept the kids happy while the parents did what they needed to do. The popcorn was in no way related to hardware but was cheap and worth it.

Now here comes the part that drives me crazy. Because of all of the above, people start to expect that they will be given something for free all the time and actually get irritated when they do not. They also find ways to work the system so that the businesses get nothing out of the free stuff. There are people who collect up the free samples so that they never have to actually buy the products. They send their kids up multiple times so that they can get more than the “one per person” allowed. They go to the hardware store for “snack time” every afternoon and go straight for the popcorn and back out again with no intention of ever even looking around the hardware store. These are the people who are ruining it for everyone else.

I own a website where we have a free game on the site that 600 people can play a day. I figured out recently that over 500 people had figured out a way to ensure that they got the free money every day and none of my other customers had a chance. Those 500 people do not use my business in any other way. Over YEARS of membership, they have done nothing but the free game and cashed out for prizes. So I changed up the game so that other people had more of a chance to play. Now I’m getting email messages from people telling me to “go to hell” and people are posting on message boards that it isn’t “fair” that I am taking away their free money.

When did “free” become the expectation and not the added surprise, the unexpected bonus, or the reward for loyalty? When did people start thinking that they DESERVE to be given free stuff by companies for absolutely nothing in return. Business is tough even in a good economy and even tougher right now. A company needs to show a return on investment for all of their marketing, and this kind of “free” doesn’t allow for that.

By the way, I heard the hardware store isn’t giving away the free popcorn anymore. I can’t imagine why.

You often hear people say things like “Life’s a marathon, not a sprint” or refer to “crossing the finishing line” on a project or deal. Over the past several weeks as I have been training for the mini-marathon and logging a LOT of time alone just running and running with nothing else to think about, I’ve come to understand why so many people compare life to running. Here are just a few of the things that I find myself thinking about and comparing when I am trying to pass the time.

• Pace is the key. Whether in running or in life, you have to pace yourself or you will burn out. Even more than that, you just won’t enjoy yourself. And everyone’s pace is different. It doesn’t do any good to compare yourself to the guy running next to you. Maybe your house is smaller or you take less vacations. Maybe you had your kids later than everyone else. It doesn’t matter. You set your own pace and stick with it, adjusting as necessary.
• Being alone isn’t always bad. I’m the kind of person who hates to be alone pretty much ever. I don’t have any kind of phobia–I just like company and companionship. Yet, I’ve come to understand that I don’t need it all the time and sometimes I am better off just doing my own thing. 90% of my running is done entirely by myself, and I’m okay with that now. It’s genuinely time for me to think and focus on nothing but myself. How often do we all take time for that?
• Change is good. In order to not get bored, I try to change up a lot of things about my runs. Sometimes I change the route. Other times I bring my daughter with me. I change my music or use no music at all. To keep it fresh, I change it. Life is the same. It can be easy to fall into a rut of always eating the same lunches or doing our work in the same way. Change your route. You never know what you might run across.

I could probably keep going all day with this, but these are just a few of the ones that keep coming back to me. How about you? What have you learned from your exercise routine?

Every year for the past seven years I have either run or walked the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Indianapolis. It is an unbelievable event. Even more than the money that is raised, I am impacted each year by the stories that I encounter. When you see a child wearing a picture of his mother with the words “In Memory of Mommy” written on it, you can’t help but be moved. And for every picture or story like that, there is another woman wearing a big pink boa and celebrating her recovery. The crowd is filled with stories of both hope and sorrow, which makes it all the more important to me that I involve my family.

In years past, I have done the race myself while my family played games and waited for me at the finish line. My kids have begged me to participate, but I always selfishly wanted that time to run by myself and reflect. This year will be the first year that the whole Sunshine Family participates. My 9-year-old, Jillian, will be running with me. My husband, Kevin, and my 7-year-old, Cassie, will be walking it. I want my family to understand not only that this cause is important to me but also why it should be important to them.

We have joined a team that will be supporting a teacher from the girls’ school who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I’m not sure that my girls even know it yet, but we will talk about it when the race gets closer. I’m not asking for my friends to donate, but if this is a cause that you believe in as strongly as I do, I ask that you consider participating in some way–in Indianapolis or in any of the other races across the country. If you are an HPE parent, please consider joining Susi’s Spring Peepers for Mrs. Murphy.

It’s almost St. Patrick’s Day and time to break out one of my favorite March recipes–Pistachio Fluff! It’s perfect for parties because you can eat it as either a salad or a dessert. I tend to eat it for both because I love it so much! The recipe does make 10-12 servings, so be prepared to eat a lot of fluff.

Pistachio Fluff
Serves 10 -12.

Ingredients
2 (3 1/2 ounce) packages instant pistachio pudding mix (we use sugar free)
2 (12 ounce) containers Cool Whip (we use fat free)
1 (20 ounce) can crushed Pineapple
2 cups chopped Nuts (we use pecans)
1/2 cup Maraschino cherries
1 (1 lb) bag mini marshmallows

Preparation
1. Chop the cherries but reserve a few for decoration
2. Mix pudding with cool whip and Pineapple with juice.
3. Add Nuts, chopped cherries and marshmallows.
4. Combine well.
5. Refrigerate for at least 24 hours so marshmallows can soften, but can be served after 2 hours.
6. Garnish with whole cherries on top.

I actually usually leave the nuts out and us them only to layer the fluff (as seen in the picture above), sprinkle them on top, or put them in a bowl on the side for people to use as the like (or don’t like). You can also tint it a little darker with some green food coloring.

What are your favorite St. Patrick’s Day recipes?

As the parent of kids in elementary school, I’ve sat through the presentations and read the paperwork on bullying. As the kind of person who wears her heart on her sleeve, I remember all too well the bullying I endured when I was a kid. It usually follows the same pattern. Someone who is more “powerful” than you in some way picks on you in such a way that they think that they won’t get caught and that you cannot retaliate.

The thing about bullies is that they often do NOT get caught, or at least do not get penalized for what they have done. It’s a catch-22. If you try to stand up to them, you may end up worse off than what you started. I’ve been watching this happen in my daughter’s class for the last several months. One little girl is smart enough to know to taunt only when the teacher isn’t around. If the other kids tell on her, they are treated as snitches, and the bully is further empowered.

I don’t think bullying stops, however, when we get our high school diplomas. In fact, I see it a lot among adults. Of course, we aren’t all threatening to flush each other’s heads in the toilet or shove each other into lockers. It’s more subtle. It’s an affiliate manager threatening us not to go public with information about their program or they will drop us from it. The “power” that they wield is financial rather than physical. It’s a poster in a forum who continuously responds to our posts in such a snarky way that we quit even posting. Their “power” is that they know that no one will call them out on it because they are either too integral to the forum or no one wants to face their wrath.

It’s an unfortunate reality of life that the weaker will always be picked on by the stronger. Bullies will always find a way to intimidate and often will not get called out on it. How the rest of us deal with it is the key. Will we stand up for ourselves? Will we stand up for each other?

I’m one of the most competitive people you will ever meet. I don’t believe that kids should all be given stars on their papers just to make them feel better. I believe that competition is a good thing and spurs creativity and hard work. However, I’ve come to the conclusion today that everyone should win sometimes. Why? The science fair.

I participated in the science fair only one time in my life, despite being in science club and in general a pretty big geek. I tried very hard and didn’t place, win, or show. Not even a certificate. My father was so disappointed in me when he got there that I cried all evening and even tried to get out of going to school the next day. It was such a horrible experience that I still get upset when I talk about it. I was a total failure despite a lot of effort, and I was only 12 years old.

Fast forward to last month. My 9-year-old daughter joined science club and we found out that they would be having a science fair. I immediately felt all of those old feelings coming back. I told my husband that I would not be helping and tried to prepare my daughter for the fact that she probably wouldn’t win. I didn’t want her to feel the same way that I did. But she didn’t care. She prepared her project with my husband and set out yesterday morning for school.

I arrived after the judging and held my breath as I looked for her booth. I found her absolutely beaming in front of it with a blue ribbon hanging from her board. As it turns out, there wasn’t just one blue ribbon. In fact, everyone got either a 1, 2, or 3 ribbon, and most actually got the blue. Instead of comparing the kids against each other, they compared them against the rules for the projects. If you followed all of the rules and did a good job, you got a first place ribbon. Even if you didn’t do a good job, you at least got a 3rd place ribbon for trying.

In that moment, I decided that I was okay with everyone being a winner. Sometimes you just need to encourage people and reward them for the effort. Next year will be the same way. And then after that, my daughter should have the confidence that if she doesn’t get a ribbon every year, it’s okay. You win some, you lose some. But she’ll feel like she doesn’t ALWAYS lose.

Does it apply in the adult world? Absolutely. I ran an incredibly slow Half Marathon in Indianapolis last year and they put a ribbon around my neck when I crossed the finish line. I knew I didn’t actually “win” the mini. But I did accomplish something that most people don’t just by completing it. Adults or kids, we all need to feel like winners sometimes. What do you do in your life that allows you to have that satisfaction of a job well done? Do you encourage others likewise?

As an affiliate marketer, I get to know hundreds of online merchants. I see their prices, their coupons, their shipping policies, and what my members say about them on a daily basis. It’s not very often that a merchant makes me so angry as a customer that I am willing to completely out them on one of my websites. But today is that day for Kmart.

I was never a Kmart shopper. I didn’t go to my local Kmart before it closed. I’m mainly a Target girl. However, they were giving us some good promotions at Christmas and so I wanted to send them some of my business. I ordered a sleeping bag for my daughter as one of her main presents. She only likes pink and purple, and it couldn’t be too big. I was picky, but Kmart had what I needed. I was excited and placed the order, only to find out a few days later that it was canceled. I ended up at my local Target a couple of days before Christmas buying a replacement. Strike one for Kmart.

Fast forward a month. My daughter is a huge fan of Wizards of Waverly Place and Kmart has a good deal of WOWP merchandise. I launched a new website and prominently featured their products. Valentine’s Day was coming and I wanted something WOWP for my other daughter. I visited Kmart and placed a number of things in my cart. When I went to check out, one was out of stock. So I added something else to even out the gifts for my two girls. When I went to check out, something else was out of stock. So I had to keep shopping. I finally placed the order and at the same time that I got the order confirmation, I got a notice that one of the items that I ordered was already out of stock! Strike two for Kmart.

Again I went to Target locally to buy a gift to even up my two daughters. As I was wrapping gifts today, I realized that one from Kmart was still missing–the WOWP bracelet that was the main gift. I checked my order online and Kmart was still showing that it was part of the order. No cancellation. I checked my credit card and the full order amount was billed. So I called Kmart to find out if they could give me the tracking number. Turns out they canceled that item but their system is not set up to always kick out a cancellation message. Further, they charge the card first and then check the inventory for Sears products. Now I have to wait for a credit (and the last time that I had to wait for a Sears credit, it took multiple calls and weeks to get my money back). Strike three for Kmart.

The worst part of all of this is that Customer Service told me that they have known since November that they have website and inventory issues. They only update their inventory every 24 hours. As a consumer, I’ve placed orders for 3 items in 2 months that were not in inventory. Think about how many products I have sold through my websites that I ended up not getting paid for due to the same issue, not to mention the frustration of my visitors.

Customer service told me to feel free to email them with my complaints so that they can have them “on file.” The best that they could do was tell me that they were sorry and I would get a credit back within a couple of weeks. I told them I would send them a link to my story once I put it online instead.

Have I ever told you my groundhog story? Not many people have their very own groundhog story, but this girl does.

Picture me in 1999, newly married and living in a little apartment, studying each day in the house by myself for the bar exam. It wasn’t my first time away from “home,” but it was my first time being married. I was still a little confused about whether I was supposed to call my mom (who lived 4 hours away) or my husband (who worked 10 minutes away) when something went wrong.

I was making spaghetti for dinner (being the good wife that I already was) and was watching bar review tapes. We had a sliding glass door leading from our tiny kitchen area to the woods behind the apartment, and I had it open to the screen. The spaghetti was smelling great and as I was checking on it, I heard a sound from the screen door like something was rattling it. When I looked over the counter, I saw a groundhog!! (we actually call them woodchucks here) I just know that the smell of my spaghetti attracted him and he was trying to get in.

I screamed and ran up the stairs and called my mom. By the tone in my voice, she thought someone had died or was dying that very minute. After I explained to her what happened, she said “What do you want me to do about it? I live 4 hours away.” Hmmm… good point. She told me to go back downstairs and see if it had actually gotten in the apartment. What?? What if it was running around and started chasing me or something? I had an image in my head of a big fat groundhog chasing me around the furniture with its teeth bared.

So I called my husband. I refused to go down the stairs until he came home from work (early…so the spaghetti didn’t burn). At least I figured that groundhogs probably couldn’t climb a flight of stairs. He came home and checked everything out. No groundhog in the house. I know he thought I was crazy until….

A week later he was leaving for work and saw a groundhog running into the woods!! Sneaky little guy was probably looking for more spaghetti.

There are not many areas in which I consider myself an expert, but chocolate is one of them! This year I am fortunate enough to be teaching for the second time “Chocolate University” at our elementary school. It’s basically an hour long course where the kids get to learn things they might not already know about chocolate and then figure out which kinds that they like. Here’s how I put it together:

Advance Preparation: First, I found a couple of pictures of cocoa beans on the Internet and some basic history. I combined this into a PowerPoint. Next, I purchased various different kinds of chocolate and cut them up. Then, my husband made a form for each person with the name of each chocolate and a rating scale. Lastly, I gathered up all different kids of chocolate items in my house (philosophy Dark Chocolate shower gel, chocolate scented candles, hot cocoa, etc.).

Chocolates used: Plain cocoa powder, white chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, peanut butter chocolate, mint chocolate, caramel filled chocolate, and fondue. Keep in mind that it took very little of each of these–essentially one bite. I cut everything up into small squares. (When doing this at my own house, I included things like hot chocolate and chocolate truffles as well).

Class time: I started off by asking them about chocolate and they told me it was sweet. I had them taste the cocoa and explained to them why it was bitter. I then showed them the pictures of the cocoa beans and explained the origins of chocolate. From there, we started with white chocolate and then worked our way from milk to dark. We ended with the flavored chocolates. For each one, we talked about how it tasted and they “rated” it on their sheet. At the end, we went back through and compared the darkest to the lightest chocolate and a few other things.

The kids always have a great time. Most do not like the dark chocolate and the fondue is usually the biggest hit. But you do get some surprises.

If you love chocolate as much as I do and are looking for something different to do with your friends or family, give a homemade Chocolate University a try. It’s great to do for a Girl Scout troupe, a school activity, or even a boring Saturday afternoon at home. If you would like the PowerPoint that I use, just contact me and let me know.