After thinking about it all week, I decided today to take the plunge and sign up with the Affiliate Marketers Give Back Team to walk the 40 mile Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. I’ve got roughly 340 days to get ready to walk 40 miles in 2 days in New York City plus raise at least $1,800 for my team. You might think the whole thing sounds a little bit crazy, but I know in my heart that it is the right thing to do and I feel so compelled that it was hardly even a choice. I have been wanting to do it for years but every date conflicted with some kind of family obligations that I couldn’t get out of. I don’t have any excuses for next year. It’s time I step up. Why do I feel so strongly about raising money for breast cancer? 

This is a picture of me with my Grandma Rose. For personal, family reasons, I never got to know her growing up. I didn’t meet her until I was a teen and she lived in another state. I only got to see her about 3 times and this picture was taken on that 3rd time. In the picture she is surrounded by grandkids, and she is dying of cancer. What started as breast cancer went undetected and spread throughout her body. It was the 3rd time I saw her and the last time.

Grandma Rose

Contrast that with the next picture. It’s my Grandma Emma. She also had breast cancer but they caught it early enough and through the right treatment process, she came out on the other side. It’s been so many years since she had it that I can hardly even remember. Maybe 25 years? In the picture below you see my Grandma Emma surrounded not only by grandkids but GREAT GRANDKIDS. And recently she became a GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER!

Grandma Emma

These two women aren’t the only friends and family of mine to be diagnosed with breast cancer. But the contrast here is clear. Breast cancer can be dealt with when it is detected early. And when detected early and treated, women can live on for decades to see their grandchildren, great grandchildren, and even great grandchildren be born.

The key is education and treatment. Through this walk I will be raising money along with others for Breast Cancer research, treatment, awareness, and community programs. If you can find it in your heart to support me in any way through donations or even just spreading the word, I would greatly appreciate it. I want to do all that I can to make sure that my daughters have the best chance possible of living long, happy lives without the worry of breast cancer cutting them short.

Tricia’s Avon Walk for Breast Cancer Donation Page

Imagine you are sitting at lunch with a group of friends chatting and the topic of decor comes up. You make a joke about how glad you are that you got all of that crappy country blue and pink stuff out of your house because it looked like 1985. You continue with the thread and say that couldn’t even sell the stuff at a rummage sale because no one uses those colors anymore unless they are color blind.

Fast forward to a few weeks later when one of the ladies at the table is hosting a Pampered Chef party at her house. You walk in and immediately notice that everything is country blue and pink. You flash back to the conversation at the table. Had you ever been in her house before? Did you know her house looks like 1985? Do you think she was offended? Do you need to say anything to apologize? Do you even care what she thinks?

That situation happens on Facebook pretty much every day. I am amazed at what I see people posting. Whether it is political or religious or just about taste in general, I see things posted all the time that I know for a fact offend people in my social circle. Sometimes people respond in a good natured way–”Hey! I like my country blue and pink!.” Sometimes they fight back– “I guess my house isn’t good enough for you then? Not everyone has enough money to redecorate every year.” Sometimes they just stay silent and either hide their hurt feelings or even “unfriend” the person.

I wonder what it is about Facebook that makes us all feel like we can say whatever we want, however we want, without any regard to how it makes those around us feel. I know people will say that I care too much what everyone else thinks, but since when is it a bad thing to be considerate of the feelings of your friends and colleagues? It’s one thing to post a comment to start a genuine discussion (and I question how well you can really even do that over Facebook with topics as heavy as health care, the economy, and raising kids). It’s something else entirely to post random musings just because you can, often at the expense of others.

If you made it this far in my rant, please let me know your feelings on the topic. Has Facebook changed the way that we all express ourselves by making it so easy to confront or ridicule others without dealing with them face to face? Or am I being too soft and just need to lighten up?

Just about the time that I get around to getting a Chase Disney Rewards Debit Card, I find out that the program is being canceled and it is all Dick Durbin’s fault! Yes, it says right in the letter from Cshase that “Congress recently enacted a new law known as the Durbin Amendment that significantly impacts debit cards. As a result of this law…you will no longer earn Disney Dream Reward Dollars…” In fact, “After October 31, 2011, your Disney debit card will no longer be eligible for the Cardmember Perks of the Disney Rewards Program, such as the Disnsey Theme Park Perks and 10% off select Disney merchandise purchases of $50 or more.”

Man, Dick. What did I ever do to you? What do you have against me getting 10% off select Disney merchandise purchases of $50 or more??

Wait a minute. Is there a chance that this letter might be a little piece of propaganda to get me angry at Congress and to contact my representatives to encourage them to pass the pending legislation that would push back the execution of the Durbin Amendment for at least 2 years? Would Chase really play on my Disney emotions like that?

I did a little research. It turns out that Dick Durbin, and Congress in general, couldn’t care less whether I earn Disney Dollars or get Theme Park Perks. Their main goal is actually to regulate the amount of money that big banks are charging store owners every time you use your debit card as a credit card. Apparently the banks have been charging the store owners quite a bit for this, which is why Chase keeps reminding me NOT to use my debit card as a debit transaction but rather as a credit transaction if I want to earn my rewards. Tricky.

I can’t say whether I agree with the Durbin Amendment because I am not a finance kind of gal. What I do disagree with is Chase trying to blame everything on the Amendment when really it is a BUSINESS decision that Chase is making because continuing to offer the rewards would cut into their profits (which supposedly were WAY up last year). The letter from Chase places all the blame on Congress, and most people will take the letter at face value as “just another way that Congress is taking away my money.” In reality, the Amendment is meant to help consumers by keeping transaction fees down (a cap of 7 to 12 cents on each swipe), which supposedly will lead to the discounts being passed along to the customers at the store level. (Again, I’m not arguing the merit of whether that will happen. Who knows?)

I guess I’ll have to find another way to pay for my vacations to see Mickey Mouse (like earning Disney gift cards through Sunshine Rewards??) or good old-fashioned saving my pennies. What are your thoughts? Is Chase playing fair? Do you feel sorry for them?

This afternoon all of a sudden the phrase “just like high school” popped into my head. It got me thinking and I have come to the conclusion that my life right now really is a lot like high school.

For a long time, I thought that I would never again in my life have a time like that. For me, it was filled with activities and accomplishments and time with friends. I kept a calendar that was so full of events that they were sometimes doubled up on each other. And yet it still seemed like I had time to kick back and watch movies, listen to the latest music, and stay up to date on Must See TV (before Tivo came along to make it a lot easier). I cherished my circle of friends and was always running here or there with them–confiding in them and sharing life with them.

When I went to college, it still felt a little like that, but there was definitely a lot more pressure. Financially life got tougher. A lot more was expected of me. In law school, I spent the majority of my waking moments studying so I didn’t embarrass myself when my Socratic method-teaching professor called me out for half an hour straight.

I got married 3 weeks after I graduated from law school and spent the next few months in a new city doing nothing but studying for the bar exam and working part time. Before I even passed the bar, I accepted my first “real” job and started working 70 hours a week to prove myself to my new employer. Six months later I was pregnant and building my first house.

For 10 years I had the feeling that life would never really be the same again. I wouldn’t have close girlfriends to giggle with over scary movies or take long lunches with. I was a mom with a business and responsibilities. I enjoyed my life, but I definitely looked back at high school as a “golden” era in my life that I would never recapture.

Today I am happy to say that I was wrong. Not only do I have that “high school” feeling but even better than that I have the life experience to not allow myself to make some of the same mistakes that I did back then. My calendar is still full, but it’s a balance of things I MUST do with things that I WANT to do. With every passing week my circle of friends grows and it is in large part because I have opened myself up to it. Whether I am laughing on Skype with an affiliate marketing friend, having a “couples” night with my husband and our friends, or even swooning over romantic leads while watching a matinee with my girlfriends, I finally feel like life is indeed “golden” again.

For sure there were some negatives to high school that have faded away from my memory with time. And life always has its drama. But for now I am going to be thankful for my lot because I know that just as with high school, there will be new phases on the horizon.

It was about this time last year that I should have noticed the signs that something was wrong. Too busy with the kids and my business and everything that life brought at me, I just kept ignoring them.

By early summer, even other people were starting to notice changes in my behavior. Normally not a big sleeper, I was going to bed early every night and sleeping in every morning that the kids didn’t have to be anywhere. Even with all of the sleeping, I would still sometimes find myself closing my eyes and nodding off at my computer.

I was gaining weight quickly. Even while training for a half marathon, I managed to put on 10 pounds. After the race when I cut back on my running, I put on another 10 pounds in less than 2 months.

I started on a downward spiral. The weight was making me so self-conscious that  I wouldn’t put on a bathing suit when friends or family came over for pool parties. After awhile, I quit putting one on altogether. I stopped wearing shorts and only wore capris.

Worse than how I was feeling physically was how I was feeling mentally. Some days I could sit and cry at the drop of a hat for no reason at all. Other days I had such dark thoughts that I can’t even admit them to you. But at the same time I kept saying to myself, “This isn’t you!! You’re “sunshine” Tricia, for Pete’s sake. You are a happy person. The glass is always half full. Your life is wonderful. Snap out of it!!”

I knew it wasn’t me and I started getting really worried about what it all meant. I stopped talking to my friends for almost the entire summer. I happened to mention some of the things that were going on to my mom and she said I should get my thyroid checked. It didn’t make any sense to me, but I called the doctor (who I always refer to–not in his presence–as “Hot Doctor”). Hot Doctor got me in within a few days and started asking me my symptoms. After about 60 seconds he said, “sounds like a thyroid problem.” He ran some tests and within 48 hours I was on medication.

I was upset at first that I was going to have to be on a pill for the rest of my life. But Hot Doctor told me that I would be feeling so much better after a month or so of being on it that I would never want to go off. He was right.

Fast forward to now and I can hardly believe that I spent so many months fighting with myself. It would have been easy to just say that I was suffering from Depression and throw some Prozac at me. Thank goodness Hot Doctor knows what he is doing and ran the right tests. It’s taken awhile, but now that I am back to a good exercise routine and diet and taking the Synthroid regularly, I feel like a million bucks (maybe a billion).

Two morals to my story. The first is to trust what your body is telling you and pay attention to the signs. The second is that thyroid issues are really prevalent in women and are the cause of many symptoms that you might not even be aware of. Don’t jump to conclusions that you are depressed or that something is wrong with you. Get checked out and with the right routine, you can get back to being the PollyAnna you were always meant to be (at least I did!).

(Free image from Graur Codrin)

Jello Shots

New Years Eve is coming and everyone is planning food and drinks. I’ve had quite a few requests for my favorite Jello shot recipes, so here they are. I’ve pieced them together over the last couple of years from other place and honestly cannot remember which ones I made up and which ones I got from other places. So apologies if any of these are yours. Feel free to post your own recipes in the comments because I would love to try other flavors!

I like to use the jello shot cups with lids so that I can make all of the shots the perfect size in advance and then label them with what flavor they are. I also find that they are easier to store and last longer when you use the cups with lids. You can find them at your local party store or online at ShindigZ. They do sell out fast around holidays so plan ahead!

Sex on the Beach Jello Shot
3 oz. package Orange gelatin
8 oz. (1 cup) boiling cranberry juice
3 oz. peach schnapps (or Pucker)
5 oz. vodka

Add gelatin to hot cranberry juice until dissolved. Stir in alcohols and divide into cups for chilling.

Piña Colada Jello Shots (A little labor intensive but really good!)
3 oz. pkg Pineapple Jello (Sometimes called “Island Pineapple”–found it at Walmart)
1 cup canned, unsweetened coconut milk
1 cup Malibu or coconut rum

Bring the coconut milk to a boil. Add jello and stir until dissolved. After cooling to room temperature, stir in the Malibu or coconut rum. Pour into cups and chill. Layers will form with the coconut milk on top. These are smooth!

Mix and Match Jello Shots

You can mix up different flavors by dissolving 3 oz. of gelatin in 1 cup boiling water and then adding then adding 8oz. of cold liquid – straight alcohol, a mixture of liqueur and vodka, or alcohol and cold water. For flavored liquors use can use straight alcohol but you might want to combine high proof liquors with some water so that they are not too strong.

Lime Jello can be mixed with things like Absolut Citron for a citrus shot or tequila for a “margarita” shot.
Sour Apple Schnapps can be mixed with pretty much any flavor of jello to get a “Jolly Rancher” jello shot. We used   peach and watermelon.

Chocolate Covered Cherry Shots

This is the most labor intensive of all to make but was a perfect “dessert” shot and just about everyone loved them. Plus, they are fun to eat.

3 oz. package cherry jello
8 oz. boiling water
3 oz. crème de cacao
1 oz. vodka
Maraschino cherries without stems
4 oz. white rum
Chocolate “Magic Shell” ice cream topping
Spray can of whipped cream

Soak the cherries in rum for 24 hours. Put one of the soaked cherries into the bottom of each shot cup. Keep the rum/cherry soaking mixture for later. Mix the cherry gelatin into the hot water and then let it cool to room temperature. Add crème de cacao, vodka and ½ cup reserved rum mixture from cherries. Pour into cups so that cherries are submerged. Chill at least 4 hours or overnight. Cover with a thin layer of the Magic Shell and freeze 5-10 minutes. Top with whipped cream and serve.

Once again I am starting to see talk about “Free Shipping Day.” “When is Free Shipping Day?” “What is Free Shipping Day?” We went through this last year, but I guess we’ll have to talk about it again this year.

Free Shipping Day is a marketing ploy. It’s pretty much like Cyber Monday and Green Monday, but with worse results. At least if something goes wrong with your order early in December you still have time to get it fixed in time for Christmas. That may not be the case if you wait until the elusive Free Shipping Day, which incidentally is supposed to be December 17 again this year (from what I am reading).

Here are, in a nutshell, the reasons that I do not like Free Shipping Day.

• Most of the applicable merchants do free shipping year round.  At Sunshine Rewards alone we have hundreds of free shipping deals. Other coupon sites have even more than that. Take a look at the companies that are already offering free shipping of some kind. Which other ones could you be waiting for? Almost every company that I have seen that is participating in Free Shipping Day so far already has free shipping offers up now or in the next week.
• Assuming that the store you are wanting to order from will still be shipping Christmas gifts by the 17th, do you want to a) take the chance that the items you want will be sold out, or b) take the chance that UPS or Fed Ex will be even a day late in getting them to you and your gifts will not arrive by Christmas? Is it worth the risk?
• Free shipping usually comes with restrictions. A free shipping coupon won’t do you any good if it only applies to a minimum order and you won’t be placing that minimum order.  Or the items that you want are not a part of the special promotion. You would have been better off with a percent or dollar off coupon that applied to your minimum purchase.

Every year we hear about a new online day that is supposed to be the best deal day of the year– Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Green Monday, Free Shipping Day. Realistically, there are good deals from Thanksgiving through the end of the year. Do your homework and scope out coupon sites, cash back shopping sites, etc. rather than getting caught up in when everyone says you should be shopping. And don’t wait until the last minute unless you like taking risks with your gifts.

To say that politics this year have been contentious and ugly would be an understatement. No one is happy with our government and everyone is blaming everyone else. And yet, we can all be reminded by our children the importance of our democracy and the people who serve and protect our country. I had the pleasure of attending one such performance today.

Every year our elementary school puts on a Veteran’s Day program and invites family members and the community. Our music teacher does a phenomenal job and our children really take it seriously. They read letters about what freedom means to them, they sing songs about the beauty of our country, and in general they remind us why we are so fortunate.

Below are two clips I took quickly with my phone. The first is my favorite part of the program. It’s an Armed Forces medley where everyone who has served stands when their song is sung. It was hard to keep a steady camera when I was trying not to cry! The second was the closing song, America the Beautiful. The 4th graders begin it and then are joined by all of the students and eventually the whole community. The children literally sound like little angels.

No matter all of our religious and political differences, it is hard not to be inspired by these kids and their innocence and hope in our country.

Every now and again an opportunity comes along that just screams “Jump on it!!” For me, it was the chance to be a Featured Writer on Suze Orman’s new Money Minded Moms site. From the first conversation about it that I had with Missy Ward until the green light that we got this morning to start spreading the word, I have been like a kid at Christmas trying not to spill the beans on a huge secret. Now that I can finally share what is going on, I hope that you will check it out.

Money Minded Moms is a community where women can share their ideas, hopes, fears, questions, concerns, etc. about how we can all better tackle our financial issues. The site is broken down into topics like “Feeding Your Family” and “Erasing and Managing Debt.” In addition to articles written by the Featured Contributors, there is also a forum where anyone can become a member and be a part of the discussions.

I am truly honored to be among an AMAZING group of women. As if the chance to work with Suze Orman and Missy Ward were not enough, I’m getting to finally work with other women whom I have admired but never had a chance to work with before (Kim Rowley, Jen Goode, Vicky Collins, Sabrina Malone, Doreen Kukral, and Julie Vazquez). Hopefully I will get to know them all better as well as the other contributors.

Hop over to MoneyMindedMoms.com and check it out. My first post entitled “Is Free Shipping a Good Idea?” has been up for awhile but I have lots of other posts loaded up to be published in the coming weeks and months. I’ll be talking about everything from saving money online to how to stretch your budget at home.

I haven’t been as excited about anything as I am about this in a very long time and I hope that you all will support me!!

When I was growing up, I had some of the same friends from elementary school clear through college. After college and law school, it all started to change. I was moving around a little bit more and starting to focus on my marriage and my family rather than my friends and extracurricular activities. I went through a span of quite a few years where I was working from home and tending to babies and didn’t really have a lot of close friends except the ones that I hardly ever got to see anymore.

A couple of years ago, that started changing. I was getting more involved in my kids’ school, the affiliate marketing community, and my own business. Facebook helped me reconnect with people I had been missing for a long time. I started remembering what it was like to surround myself with girlfriends and making more of an effort to connect. Now, I consider myself so fortunate to be “surrounded” by ladies of all ages and backgrounds and who span geographically from Canada to Florida. Here are some of the things that they have taught me that I hope you are learning from your girlfriends, too.

1) You don’t have to have a “best” friend to be happy. It’s okay to have a whole lot of “good friends” that you can go to for different things.

2) You won’t meet new people if you don’t put in a little effort and open yourself up to it. If you do, you will be surprised at how many you will meet.

3) It’s okay if you make your family eat cereal for dinner every now and again because you are too busy to cook and don’t want to spend money to eat out. And they can probably even get the cereal themselves.

4) Don’t feel guilty about spending time with your friends away from your family. Your kids spend all day developing relationships with their friends. You deserve a chance, too.

5) My husband deserves a little more action. I seriously wouldn’t have known it if my girlfriends hadn’t shared their “numbers” with me! I won’t go into details, but he probably owes some of you a drink.

6) Chunky necklaces make you look more put together and hip. And they don’t have to be expensive.

7) Every marriage has had (and may currently have) its difficulties. Even the ones that look perfect.

8 ) Friends may not be friends forever, but the good memories from the relationship CAN last forever no matter how it ended.

9) I’m not the only person who sometimes hides from the Schwan man. A lot of people actually do. (When you aren’t hiding, try the Summer Sausage. It’s the best there is)

10) Margaritas, a basket of chips, and an evening of giggling might not solve your problems, but they will relax you enough to give you the fresh perspective you need to tackle them.

I sincerely thank all of my girlfriends for the parts that they play in my life, big or small. And I look forward to all of the great things that we will share together in the future!